Mar 19, 2013

19 and problems :(

Growing up? Only God knows how much I hated it. More responsible to carry, more shit to deal with. More problems to be taken care of, more misery :( And the sad truth is I'm turning 19 tomorrow. 19 is a freakin huge number, for Allah's sake! And next year, according to plan, inshaaAllah I will be flying to UK to pursue my degree in Accounting. Fudge that is big! But can I? Study pun malas, ada hati nak fly. That meeting with JPA really spoiled everything though it supposedly help, but it just didn't to me. I just felt like I don't belong here and I've made the biggest mistake in my life coming here.

I have had enough. I can't deal with this sort of education. I hate doing work. I effing hate paragraphs of words, pages of facts. I currently having trouble dealing with Econs. I have difficulties remembering and pouring out ideas in a proper manner on papers using pens. I hate examinations. Should I continue? Can I just drop out? Why didn't I just go on with my matriculation at KMP? What the eff am I doing here?!

But I believe Allah has prepared a great future ahead of me. It is just not here yet, and right now I'm at my lowest point of confidence level. I need to gain it back. I need to have faith again and believe in that bright future I'll be achieving soon. Please come faster :(

1 comment:

  1. Assalamualaikum. Sabar la Geb. Hikmatullah. Semua org pun ada susah, ada senang dia. Maybe kau harap kau kat KMP. Tapi budak kat KMP ada yg harap kat tempat kau maybe. Kita manusia mmg jarang nak appreciate benda yg kita ada. Tapi kena bersyukur. Aku doakan kau geb. Insya Allah. Don't you ever dare to give up.